8 years, but you wouldn’t know it if you counted celebrations.

IMG_7711 8 years ago on this date of November 14, 2009, Donald and I awkwardly stood in the front of our church and recited our vows which we wrote ourselves, we repeated what our Pastor said and sealed it all with a quick, uncomfortable kiss. Unfortunately we do not live in a Hollywood best seller or a Brothers Grimm fairytale, therefore I cannot follow that “kiss” with an “and they lived happily ever after. The End.”

I have celebrated 10 birthdays with my husband, and out of the 10 I think he has acknowledged it was my birthday maybe twice and that’s just because I whined and complained about how he forgot my birthday, and he only half-heartedly said “Happy Birthday” and I’m pretty sure I recollect it being followed by a “there, you happy now?”

Anniversaries, Christmas, Valentine’s, you name it He doesn’t acknowledge it.

Let me state one thing quickly though. The thing I admire most about my husband is his mind, or stubbornness, it depends on how you look at it really. It’s amazing to watch him debate someone over something {{truly any subject, passionate or not, he missed a great opportunity to be a lawyer}} he is passionate about, it’s as if he grows another foot taller as he demeans the opposition’s argument leaving them with no response except a possible sigh of defeat. Likewise, the thing I despise most about my husband is his mind, or in this case his stubbornness. Once his mind is set, that’s it. There’s no persuasion, manipulation, conversion, nada, zilch. If he decides that sour cream is the most grotesque edible in the universe, it wouldn’t matter if he was starving to death and it was on the only entrée available to him, if it has sour cream, he will use his last dying breath to curse you for ruining his possible life sustainer.

Naturally, this extreme is used in all matters of life.

I have begged, pleaded, cried, explained, pouted about the way he doesn’t pay any mind to specific dates. I am not asking for a gift on these special days {{though one would be greatly appreciated and would more than likely lead to an ample amount of brownie points!}} all I really would like is a heart-felt “Happy _____________” {{fill in the blank with whatever holiday or celebration it is.}} whilst looking into my eyes, tenderly holding my face in his strong hands, flashing that knee-weakening grin, and ending it with a sweet kiss.

The gift that is alone!

To be all that he’s thinking about in that moment, to have undivided attention, to know that how I feel matters to him, so even though specific dates hold no importance to him, he makes a point to consider my feelings and to give me that what I wish for.

Love is a constant give and take, I grit my teeth through a lot of things I’m not particularly fond of because I know that’s what he likes or enjoys doing. Perhaps I am being childish and should allow the days, weeks, years to slip by with no specific holidays or anniversaries to celebrate but if that be the case then what is life without anticipation or excitement? If there’s never anything to look forward to then does that not equate our lives with that of a goldfish’s? Circling around and around, night and day completing the same repetitious schedule with nothing to make memories of?

I’ll pass on the goldfish’s life-cycle but I’ll gladly take the one I have with my husband..even if it means I will have to make my own excitement and lower my expectations of celebrating anything that’s not business related with him.

Possibly he will come around one day..even if it’s only because there’s no dinner cooked because I’ve decided to take myself out for an anniversary dinner.