Assumptions made when you have 4 kids..


After all of the weeks of doom and gloom I decided to halfheartedly pull myself outta it and that it was time for some funny! Whether for my readers or for myself {{likely it’s selfish motives}} funny has got to happen! Without further ado, here’s a compilation of assumptions from different, absolute strangers when our little tribe comes strolling up. Enjoy!

#1 on my list is the MEN, y’all I wish I could say I’m lying.{{but by now you get the gist that this blog is all honesty and no falsies.}} Now mind you these are not men in their 20s-30s, it’s more like 40s-70s.

“Spitting them out like a hay-baler..I like it!” {{this was at a funeral home, I almost told the deceased to scoot over and let me in the coffin because I just DIED!}}

“I bet your husband’s a happy man!’ {{insinuating that all we ever do is have sex, which my internal response is you need a science lesson because technically it’s only proof that we’ve had sex only 4 times.}}

And the ever so popular:

“Don’t you know what causes that?!” {{NO! Please help my uneducated, irresponsible, reproducing self by explaining it to me in detail, while my littles debate whether the fruit loops or the frosted mini wheats are the cereal that we just HAVE to buy. Also, you can awkwardly explain to my 8 year old just what does cause “that” because she overheard you and I most certainly don’t want to have this discussion with her while discerning whether high fructose corn syrup in their cereal is that big of a deal and replacing the 12,986 different items the 2 year old has thrown in my cart}}

My response to the above statement: We don’t have T.V. {{leaves them open-mouthed every time.}}

Now on to the women, who you’d think would be more encouraging.

“I bet you’re about to have a nervous breakdown.” {{No, because I view my littles as blessings not burdens!}}

“Boy! You’ve got your hands full!” {{I reply, “No, maybe two more.” they uncomfortably force a laugh.}}

“Oh, you don’t have time for anything now do you?” {{Hey Karen, how about I actually like hanging out with my little tribe?! Sipping mimosas while viewing different abstract art ain’t really my thang! Give me muddy youngins anyday. they’re a lot less snooty and stuffy!}}

Young, childless waitresses as we are seated in their area, a look of dread replaces the happy flirtatious smile when they see that my husband is not alone but is being followed by the rest of us.

“Wow! are all of these yours?” {{No, we find delight in spending $60 in food that nobody eats because it doesn’t look the same as the 5 different fast food joints we passed on the way here.}}

Then when we go to leave.

“Your kids are so well mannered.” {{Donald and I have made it a point to tell them that one must invest TIME in children to make them act as such, they don’t come out like that.}}

I could go on and on and on with all the different responses and attitudes thrown my way but I’m gonna stop it here because the rest aren’t that funny and honestly are more irritating causing mom fury to rise so yea..Next time you see a little tribe compliment them with a smile and go your way if you ain’t got nuthin’ nice to say!