I saw a meme recently that said, “This decade is three months from being over, do that thing you’ve wanted to do.”
That thought, heck, that fact, made me stop scrolling and put my phone down. It made me pause. A whole decade is almost history. Ten whole years not one person can gain back or redo. What has happened or what have I done in the past ten years? What have I learned from the long days that seemed to last forever, but the short years that have sped by?
A lot has happened in ten years.
I’ve gained some wonderful people whom I loved dearly but I’ve also lost some of those same people. I’ve witnessed strength and courage with a cancer diagnosis and I’ve been privy to the struggle and cruelness of chemo and radiation treatments. I’ve celebrated the report of remission and I’ve cried bitterly at the news of the cancer returning with a vengeance. I’ve loved passionately and I’ve loathed purposefully, until I realized the former produced more of what I was longing for. I’ve gained friends that will never leave me and I’ve lost friends who I thought never would. I’ve inhaled the sweet scent of my own newborn baby and teared up at the smell of sweat when I barely had to bend over to kiss the top of my ten year old’s head. I’ve ran into the open arms of God when He showed me how much He loved me and I’ve walked away from them when I felt like He didn’t anymore. I’ve wanted to end my life until I begged for God to do something with it. I’ve held onto God’s Hand as depression has held onto me. I’ve asked God to use me or to end me and I’m still here.
I am still here.
You are still here.
The very thing Satan tried to use to consume me, God used to construct me to be able to withstand the weight of bearing His Truth to the world.
Depression lead to journaling, journaling lead to ministering to women through this blog, ministering through blogging lead to writing a book and ministering through live videos on Facebook, live videos have lead to small speaking engagements, leading a small group of teen girls, and a podcast.
The fact that ten years ago I had no five year plan or goals, I was just a teen mom trying to survive the current day, and where I am now, is proof enough to me that the Psalmist wasn’t kidding when he penned Psalm 8:4-5,
What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him?…thou hast crowned him with glory and honour. (KJV)
David was just a shepherd boy despised by his older brothers and sought out to be killed by his king.
He became one of the greatest Kings ever known.
Rahab was a pagan prostitute.
She became an ancestor of Jesus Christ.
Saul was a murderer of Christians.
He became Paul who penned 13 books of the Bible. (14 if he wrote Hebrews)
Whatever you’re going through today, whatever Satan is trying to consume you with, be strong, have faith, God can use it to construct you for His glory.
He does His most glorious work with broken people.